Bura jo dekhan me chala, bura na milya koi....
Jo man khoja aapna, to mujhse bura na koi...
After a long time, I got some time with myself in this last 3-4 months. And it seems it made me realize various new facts about myself.
Since last 3-4 months, every-time I got irritated or angry on someone's behavior, I realized I also behaved in the similar way some other time. This realization at first make me feel more irritated to myself, then confused, then blank. Doesn't know anymore what is correct and what is not. It seems like you do not know yourself et all. And instead of loving yourself, you will be the last person to get approved by yourself. Then you start trying to find excuses, but your mind is no longer working...
Still confused what to do, accept all those things just because you are worse than that. Or keep not approving it & don't approve yourself as well, when you do it...Somehow don't feel like accepting it...hope the frequency of disapproving myself decrease with time...
well i guess that the best thing you can do in this situation is to just be. Don't put yourself on a pedestal or judge yourself. We all would like to be totally reasonable and perfect at all times but aren't these imperfections what make us humans and more importantly who we are. And don't you think that one of the purposes of our lives along with other things is to find ourselves, know ourselves, understand ourselves better. It's a life long process and trust me no one can ever say that they know themselves, that's why we keep on surprising ourselves or maybe shocking ourselves in some cases. But it all comes down to this, you are not an ounce better or worse than what you think you are. Yes you always want to be a certain way a certain someone, and that is what we travel towards throughout our existence, but the journey only really begins when we learn to accept the fact that we are not always going to do the right thing, we are not always going to be logical. In fact at times you need to do something crazy and out of the world just to touch base with reality. So stop being so hard on yourself. Give yourself time and I am sure you will figure it all out. And if you can not, well what are friends for? :). Crin about it to them till you get comfortable with the thought :D
ReplyDeleteThanks Subhi didi...but sometimes it is hard to accept those imperfections, which matters you a lot.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, don't be so harsh on yourself. We all make mistakes, act in strange ways, utter something that we shouldn't or do something that we would repent later. Just talk to someone with whom you can share your state of mind, and you will free yourself from your own criticism :)
ReplyDelete-Amruta
Hey Amruta,
ReplyDeleteDon't worry nothing happened now...it was a summary of last couple of months & some random thoughts :)
I hated doing that too ... so I stopped judging others for whatever they do - no matter if I agree with it or not. :-)
ReplyDeleteIt turns out that now I don't judge anyone at all ... except me :-( And even worse, I totally take others judgements of me seriously. If you come up with a solution, do let me know
Kriti
Hey dear,
ReplyDeletedon't do that....just accept the way you are, or what I do is to give benefit of doubt to me...We cannot be that bad...may be we are just thinking much...so just believe we are good for ourself :)...nobody else matters :)
>:D<
Sappo, the fact that you introspected and found your faults shows that you're a great person! Whatever it was that caused you to feel this way, you shouldn't let it worry you so much. I do empathize how there are those moments when you feel helpless about your behaviour. But it's best to just learn from the experience and move on. You are an amazing girl; such thoughts shouldn't keep you from achieving other great things in life!
ReplyDeleteWe all Love you! >:D<
-Meghana
Hey Meghu,
ReplyDeletethanks a lot
>:D<