Most of you would have watched the joke about arrange marriages in some television series. Guy's family come to the girl's house to see the girl. Girl's parents serve them lot of snacks and claims that everything is cooked by her. In-fact, all the paintings in the hall is her creations etc. etc.
Wait, I don't wanna discuss arrange marriages and their showing off girls part. What I am trying to understand is the reasons of false credits. Are the parents proud of their girl or they are embarrassed of her not knowing cooking, painting etc. etc well enough.
I know, it is an extreme example, but people give false credits to their loved ones all the times. And I never understood it at all. Sorry, but my mom is a bit too honest, who won't try and brag about the first dish i cooked, since it was looking too bad :p. It made me feel, that all these things are not important. She loves me and proud of me for what I am. For me, false credits are result of embarrassment.
I am talking about the false credits given by the people who loves you, so sarcasm is completely out.
But, then what does it mean ? That you are not good enough without all those things (for which you have been awarded false credits) ? That you should have done that ? and they are embarrassed that you didn't do that (and / or cannot do that) ?
I know, I am becoming a bit too harsh. But, I can not find any other reason for false credits :(.
Wait, I don't wanna discuss arrange marriages and their showing off girls part. What I am trying to understand is the reasons of false credits. Are the parents proud of their girl or they are embarrassed of her not knowing cooking, painting etc. etc well enough.
I know, it is an extreme example, but people give false credits to their loved ones all the times. And I never understood it at all. Sorry, but my mom is a bit too honest, who won't try and brag about the first dish i cooked, since it was looking too bad :p. It made me feel, that all these things are not important. She loves me and proud of me for what I am. For me, false credits are result of embarrassment.
I am talking about the false credits given by the people who loves you, so sarcasm is completely out.
But, then what does it mean ? That you are not good enough without all those things (for which you have been awarded false credits) ? That you should have done that ? and they are embarrassed that you didn't do that (and / or cannot do that) ?
I know, I am becoming a bit too harsh. But, I can not find any other reason for false credits :(.
From your august posts ..It seems like we come from similar background ..
ReplyDeleteWhat i think is the "false credits" sometimes ia also a mix of "generation gap"+" and "love to try to fit in your kid".
I am in no way trying to justify it ..and i get equally annoyed when i see it being done.
But this is what i felt.. when i saw my mom ..telling Ankur's parents apologetically "jyada dharam karam aur cooking nahi janti..padhai me sara time nikal gaya but thoda bahut to sikhaya hi hai humne"
1) its generation gap ...they think/feel that to be abel to sing/sew/cook ..is still a very crucial part in judging the marriageability of your daughter..its like a exam and they are trying to help you pass ..according to what they think can get you good marks.. ( or justify why you could not get good marks)
2) they feel its there responsibility ( and i do too as a mother) to impart both of past and present to our kids ..i want my kid to still bow to idols and respect them ..even when i am myself not that religious.. i feel may be its something i don;t understand but since i was exposed to it..i need to pass it on to my kids ...now when he is grown up ..he might find it wierd ..but i still want to.
3) third i think is love .. basically everything is fair in love and war .. so some parents might want to do it just blinded by their love ..basically they want their kid to get what he/she (or they themselves) want and they are ready to cheat for it .. since they don't think its that the means to get there are important. I hope i never do that ..but motherhood has surprised me a lot .. there are many things i thought i will never do ( like wake up early adn cook fresh breaskfast) :)
wild guess: trying to help you get more than what you actually deserve?
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